Memories In A Picture !!

'Ahh this rain'.. Sitting by her window listening to the pouring rain she thought , 'Well , seems like I have to cancel my meeting for tomorrow ..'
She sighed slowly and looked around herself , found herself surrounded by books and papers.. Took a sip of her coffee and she grabbed the paper again , her fingers were playing with the pencil and she kept staring at the blank paper..
It 4am in the morning and she's been sitting there for 2 hours now , she has to finish her article tonight but every time she starts writing either her mind gets stuck with the tick of the clock or the sound of the rain.. 'Urggghhh , why can't I' she was irritated now , her head was so much filled with thoughts that she can't pick up a topic for her article which she has to write for the magazine..
'Forget it' , she threw the pencil away and got up , picked up the mug  , there wasn't any coffee left..
She took a little walk across the room and got to the window again , it was still raining , she smiled slowly looking into the dark sky , she was a rain lover , she was the girl who gets crazy with the thought of rain , ' Now this rain is the reason I can't get out of my thoughts ' she smiled again , 'How things remain the same but changes its value and meanings ' ..
She was tired now , she didn't want to try anymore .. 'It's not gonna work out tonight , I still have a day left so I should better sleep now' She thought ..
Going through the spot where she was sitting before she thought to pick up the papers , looking at the mess she thought , 'Mhmm let it be' ..
It was getting colder now , she got into her warm bed , it was so comforting that she realized how tired she was.. She closed her eyes , it was a dark silent night.. All she could hear was the ticking of her wall clock , caffeine was working now , she wanted to sleep but couldn't.. She turned to her side table and picked up her cell phone to set the alarm for the morning , 'Maybe it'll stop raining till morning' .. She set the alarm and put the cell phone back on the table , her eyes stopped over the frame , the picture , the beautiful moment of her life , unintentionally , she picked up the frame and laid on the bed again..
It was her wedding picture , she was smiling with bliss with her husband beside him .. They were so happy together , people said she looked heavenly beautiful on her wedding day , it was her favorite picture from all the albums so they decided to frame it .. She looked at him in the picture , he was the person she loved for 20 years.. She fought her family and friends , her parents never liked the guy she was in love with but she was so in love with him that she denied everyone just to get one person , 'One freaking person' she mumbled staring at the picture frame..
A feeling of hatred came across her face , and in a moment she put the frame back , like she was scared she would probably smash it into pieces.. Finally she closed her eyes , she thought of the days they were newly weds , then she thought her first fight with him .. He was not the person she was in love with and he said , 'Things change after getting married you stupid' .. And it all really changed , he was the only person left for her now but he just couldn't understand.. It was their 3rd anniversary , she stayed up all night for him to get back home as she wanted to celebrate with him , he came at 3 am and told her he's leaving her .. He fell out of love and he wanted to get a part.. They fought and screamed and shattered things into pieces in the middle of the night , but nothing stopped him from leaving her..
She sighed again , she was all alone now , its been 15 years now , all she does now is recollecting the memories from the past and hold on , her room , the picture frames everything is right there on its place , she whispered to herself , 'but I never fell out of love , even when I should have' .. !!

Love In Fashion ...

Relationships , seems like everyone has this one thing in common nowadays . ' She betrayed' , 'He broke my heart' , 'It didn't work out' , these are the lines we hear from teenagers like they are talking about some usual stuff . Well , this doesn't mean I am some conservative minded girl or a hypocrite . It's all what I see from my portion , you can disagree if you want ..

The idea of being in love and being loved by somebody  can make everyone gets butterflies in the stomach . It's sweet and everyone wants it , but , ever wondered , is this really 'Love' ?? The love that they say happens and lasts forever ?
Mostly , nowadays it's like 'Love = being in fashion'.. Or if you're not in a relationship or you don't have a gf/bf beside you , you're outdated ..

As I observe around me , there are a lot of broken hearts , happily committed or broke up and patching up people .. Writing about it all I remember when I was among them , till I was a teenager . And at the night of my nineteenth birthday I stepped into the reality finally . I started seeing things like a big mature girl , but all I regret now is the teenage that could be more fun with friends , family and other stuff that was almost wasted in complications , tears solving problems and all .. And somehow I just wanna let know every teenager , Guys ! This is the best part of your life , don't ruin it in things which are just a fashion statement at the moment .. You can also be fashionable and open minded without getting yourself in a relationship .. We get mature anyhow , but then all we have left in the hands is to regret ..

Some people might think I am against love or what , calm down I'm not ..
All i think is it should be constant and forever.. 'Forever' , Yeah it is a real thing if we let it come to us at the right time and right place .. Forever happens , it's not a delusion , I believe it does , just stop rushing into relationships like you rush into the closet to pick up the most fashionable dress !!

Let Her Go !!!

" I don't want you , I don't want us " She screamed in the middle of her tears , all messed up in a wrinkled shirt , running out mascara.. He was holding her , looking at her trying his best to calm her down.. Looking at her he was wondering how this beautiful girl is such a mess .. How hard its on her , how badly she wants to force herself .. And being there at her side he can't do anything for her..

Manahil , she is his best friend , his person .. The one to whom he talks about his day , life , problems everything. . He remembers , the day they met and started talking.. She was the prettiest girl with the cutest smile .. They became the closest friends on their very first conversation. .

He holds her in his arms , flashbacks continues before his eyes.. That time when in the middle of the night they suddenly started talking about their past and those hollow memories , he was stunned , hearing about the things that this pretty girl went through.. He always thought he was the cursed person in the whole wide world but now , no , some people went through real bad things.. That night , he saw that girl crying for the first time .. He saw her that side which no one could ever imagine just after looking at her.. As he got closer to her , got her in his strong arms , she cried and cried .. This was the night when something happened.. His heart wished , silently , a prayer.. A prayer to make her smile , to make her happy and turn off her sorrows for the rest of her life..

"Don't cry , please don't.. We'll fix it .. Be with me just stay and , and I'll be there .. " He holds her shoulders looked at her , he was pleading , all he wanted to fix the mess.. But somehow he knew this is not gonna fix up..
" No , You don't understand , I can't do this , I am a mess and you're suffering because of me.. So let's end it here , we were never meant to be , our love.. It's , it's just not strong enough , neither am I.. " She removed his hands off of her shoulders and got up.. She couldn't look at him , he was shattered his eyes pleading and she was the one to be blamed.  She did this to him .. " I am sorry , we shouldn't .. Sorry !! " Words stopped coming out of her mouth.. Tears started filling her eyes once again , she was bracing herself so hard and still it felt like anytime she would break in pieces.. Turned , and she got out of the room for never coming back ..

He sat there in disbelief , how it all happened with him all over once again .. "How could one be so unlucky and cursed" he was thinking , hours went by and he was still there.. Suddenly , his phone rang , he got out from his thoughts in a brick and looked in his phone , smiling with his head " It must be her , She always fights and then comes back like a Lil kid " Grabbed his phone he looked at the screen with her picture , her smile , looking at her picture he forgot the phone is ringing.. But when he paid the attention , it was his friend .. His eyes started filling up , he gulped and picked up the phone , " No , not today .. I am not coming" He hung up and fall over the bed , "I can't" .. He closed his eyes and memories started again..
"
The day he told her about the things he feels for her , how he wants to be with her and how he wants to make her forget all the bad memories , she kept quiet for so long , she was confused .. He knew that already, its not easy for her to believe again , she got out of a perfect relationship and she still isn't over the guy ... He knew the risks , but he wanted to work things out.. It's been so long he was alone , he never even tried for anyone since long but now his heart is wishing for her .. " I don't want to start all this again , I am God alone .. It's better this way , " She said these things over and over again.. He heard her , every time , and understood but never gave up on her.. Days went by , and how and why and when it all started to change.. She denied , he never gives up and eventually they fell in love !!

"What went wrong? All I did was make her happy , this was not the ending I thought of " .. Staring the ceiling he was still wandering in his memories , trying to figure out any signs of her or his mistake but he just couldn't find any.. He wanted to get up and go after her , chase her and make her belief again like he did before , when she was scared .. He was the one who made her the person she was , again  .. And this time the pain is aching him so bad that he couldn't gather himself and get up.. Instead all he did was lay still and kept staring the ceiling ..

It was beautiful the way it was , the fears were gone , they stopped talking about the bad things .. He said "Everything will be fine , We are together we will always be" .. She believed him and stopped thinking about what if's and buts..She was happy with him .. That person was the best thing happened to her after a while..
The days were beautiful and she was head over heals , but then she started talking to people , she ignored but they talk so loud that she couldn't .. It felt like history repeating itself , soon she realized it's not the people she fears its her , she was her fear , that day , sitting by her window she went through the chapters of her life , some pages were still the same that she thought faded away a long time ago.. But they were there.. Fresh and haunted , " No , this ain't right.. This is not what it seemed to be " , she denied and forced her heart to shut up.. "I can't do it with him , it will kill him at the end , it's still not much late for the decision " ..

He got up now , the face of that pretty girl couldn't get away from his eyes , "She doesn't wanna stay" , He thought , "She's still the same scared girl , nothing changed , it has been just a matter of time" He kept thinking , looked out for his phone that he threw away , picked it up absent mindedly , he went through the contacts list , deleting her number , deleting her pictures and finally while deleting the smiling wallpaper of that girl , his head kept screaming , "I have to let her go , let her go " ....

Best part of You :)

"People change , things change " They always say things like that but do we all really change? or we just try to change ourselves just to remind that nothing's the same anymore .. We do , forcefully sometimes , sometimes unintentionally or sometimes preplanned , but we all do .. And do you think its just as necessery to change at some certain point as drinking water or breathe? Questions , we have all that on mind for like every single second .. and where are the answers? we don't know yet :)

Someone went through a real bad circumstances and it was a horrible dream for them and at a point they thought it was all because I was this and I wasn't that .. They try to transform eventually as they start hating their selves but what happens next? Do they remain transformed for their whole life ? good or bad who cares , but the thing is they change , they are not the same person as they were before , as they were supposed to be ..

Here I know a thing , some nights , when they can't sleep and think about the whole life in flashbacks , thinking about how it was all back then , how it all happend , in that very certain moment they are the person whom they hate , whom they don't want to belong but they are , yes they are what they are running from .. !!