Diary Of A Suicidal Soul ..

2:30 AM , and I feel suicidal ..

Yes, You heard it right , I feel suicidal ..

The feeling of killing myself lingering through me

so that I can just make an exit from this world ,

the world , which right now seems like a goddamn cruel place to me ..

So how should I end it ? This , My life ?

this miserable life , how should I end it ?

By slashing my wrist with those blades in my drawer ?

till they bleed me to death ?

But , it would be messy , painful than I could stand ..

I don't like blood , it creeps me out ..

No , and the probability of dying is lesser ..

Then ? Poison maybe ? But it would be pretty slow ..

What if I couldn't handle the poison 

slowly burning in my pharynx ?

and I try to change my mind ?

No , that would be pretty risky !
I am exhausted , 

who knew ending your own life could be such difficult ,

people do this all the time , I wonder how ??

But , wait , what if I eventually end it ?

they never even let you die in peace..

Do they ?

would they care then ? what if nobody gives a damn ?

I'm pretty sure they won't even remember the details of my face ..

and how do I know if it makes a difference for them or not ?

I will be dead after all !!
That doesn't make sense to me at all 

Yes ! I am still suicidal but what is all that mess for if one can't witness if it effects anybody or not ?

so , what's the conclusion for now ?

I can't die & I can't live either ?

What am I suppose to do now ?

Live miserably or die for nothing !!