Difference

He thought of the rainy days , the winter nights cuddling forever , the thoughts of summer afternoons , lingering together with her .. He had the thoughts of sunset and the dawns , the stars and the full moon , that life of a perfect story .. The dreams he had , for never real , a fantasy or a myth !!

She thinks of what it was , what it will or would be , scared of the things , of the people around..
Thoughts of what to answer , how it would be.. She was a girl , he wouldn't seem to understand.. She had her fears , along with those dreams.. She thinks of the courage , that she'd never have !!

But they both knew ..

They both knew
all too well , it was destined to get apart ,
It wasn't eternal , wasn't for long ,
but addicted they were..
So now it's hard , hard to be apart ..
Forcing each other , pushing , trying ,
waiting for something ..
Something never to be happen again..
Destiny had it all written ,
and they both knew ..

Stupid Diaries ..

(2:45 AM)

Dear Diary !
Today was the worst day of my life .. I lost someone , I lost a part of me and it hurts , it hurts so bad em afraid it would bleed , funny thing is , I lost something that never belonged to me .. or should I say I never dared to make it mine , either ways , I lost today ..
From the past 2 years this girl was the only person I had my eyes on .. I saw her in her best and at her worst .. I saw her laughing out loud among her friends and I saw her got into this fight , this fight with some students of the campus .. Gosh ! she was furious , like she would rip someone's throat apart , I doubted that .. So that day I had to step up and get her away from them .. I calmed her down and finally when she was calmed down I left her alone with her girls ..I guess I shouldn't have ..
It's not that I haven't tried . I did , but then again somehow I felt like I am not good enough for her, of course I am not ,I will never be .. I thought I should be a better person for her , after all she is flawless and why would she give a damn about me ? But I guess I ran out of time ..
Today , when I saw her with that boy , smiling , as if she has her world all lighten up with stars shining over her  when finally I realized I really am not good enough for her and when now I feel like I've missed any chances if I ever had , something is breaking inside me , like I am losing everything I have ever held on to , my hope , my hope of being with her is gone !!

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(2:45 AM)


Dear Diary !!

Today I am starting a new chapter in my life .. A chapter I thought would be different in different scenario and with a different person but well life never turns out the way you plan it , right ? I should be happy right now but I don't know why there is something that is not there and I can not figure it out ..
I've waited two long years for this boy , waited that one fine day he will come to me or ask me out but he never did .. I saw him everyday , he was right there in front of me everyday in the campus , always around or maybe I was always around , either way I wonder how he never noticed how much I adore him , how much I wanted him to step up to me , how my cheeks flushed when out of nowhere he suddenly glare at me ..
Ahh ! I remember the day , that day when some of the students from a group caught me staring at him again , and they called him a loser , I lost it all of a sudden , we had a huge fight and I had no idea what I was doing until he came and got me away .. I peaked at him , I was afraid he would know the reason behind the fight.. I still think he is not a loser , maybe he doesn't like me ..
Every time I thought to reach him first , my friends said just wait for him , you are a girl, you should wait and that was true , If he liked me he would have spoken up .. And now today , finally I realized that there are somethings that never belongs to you , so was he .. He was never mine , he never will be .. 
It hurts , so much but it will get better , I figured it out , I know what was there all along and now it's not , it's my hope .. !!

I dream ..

~ Here's this boy beside me sleeping like a child ..

I look at him and wonder , how he became

the light , he shine , the world and mine ..

~ Smiling at him , running fingers on his arm

i remember him saying I'm his

love , his passion , his dream and his charm..

~So , I wrap him up , close my eyes and

wish in the middle of the night..
that I could find my fairytale ,

my happy ending and forever in his arms !! 

The Faded Love ..

I have always heard that love could be happen at anytime , anywhere or in any moment..
Yes, they are right 
I remember the days when I was too young and silly that I used to start chatting with random people on cellphone..
One day , Destiny did its work and he came into my life , and soon we became best friends. We had a lot of things in common.. He shared his past, dreams , thoughts with me and so did I..
We started liking each other and one beautiful day he told me that he actually loves me !!

And he wants to spend his whole life with me..But I wasn't prepared.. I was regreting why I made him fall for me when I wasn't able to catch him..And finally I said 'NO'..
I never knew that I was so lucky that he continued to love me even after that..
Long story short, months passed and a few months later his passionate love , caring behaviour made me fall for him..
And in an intoxicated night I said the three magical words to him.. 'I Love You'

And the beautiful journey started.. Trust me, to be loved by a person whom you love truly is a bliss.. We had a million dreams together now.. We promised each other of pure love , sincerity and trust..
I remember how we first met , so nervous yet so excited..The first gifts.. The first feelings of being together, I can't explain..

Nights and days were unending , Sometimes I wonder how we used to talk whole day.. We had a million of things to share.

People says God makes pairs in Heaven , maybe they were true.. Life was bit like a fairytale , perfect fantasies , my perfect prince charming and me who wasn't actually a princess but he treated me like one..

Time went a little ahead and he went abroad for his studies , it was hard for me to let him go but I couldn't do anything.. He had to go for his future and ours..Two years flew away and nothing went wrong..I thought distances can't do anything , thought that our love was strong enough to bear the distances..

We had an amazing relation..I used to wait for him till midnight to come online and then we used to chat about all the stuff we did whole day..His new life without me , my days without him and every single thing..We tease each other , taunt each other, fight madly on stupid things but in the end we come to each other saying sorry and everything set perfect like always..But whatever we thought , apart from all that our lives had to change ..

As time went ahead , the chats became shorter , fights started increasing.. Distances threw us apart from each other..unable to talk , unable to understand..

And now , after 4 years of love and romance I am writing this story, collecting pieces from past and memories, wondering where did I go wrong and why did the magic faded away..

Well , yeah I guess life isn't a fairytale with prince charming and his white horse , neither it has a perfect life nor a happy ending..Love is still there but don't know how and when things changed..

Life is short for regreting things you did.. Memories are pretty enough for one to remember..

And as life changes opinion changes too..But when you have spent a beautiful time with a person you loved the most its hard to remain apart !!

Like A doll ..

She was a little girl with beautiful sparkling eyes, bright thoughts and a magical smile. Smile that can catch any one's eye. Loved to play with dolls infact herself was like a doll.
So young to understand what people say and what they actually mean to say. Her 'Baba' was her hero, the most handsome man of the world and her ideal. Was living in her own small beautiful world.
But she grew older.. Now she started dreaming..Things that almost all teenage girls love to dream about..

• • She wanted to be loved now , to be loved by a man who should be like her baba , the perfect gentleman..Handsome , caring , trustworthy and most of all worth loving..She waited for so long until she finally met him.. He was more than she always wanted..His brown sparkling eyes got deep down her young little heart..Anytime she walked beside him, with his attractive smile and magical moves he made her skip her heartbeat..
• He used to call her 'Doll' and she was crazy about how he calls her 'Doll'..But the cruel world soon brought her into the bitter reality of life..She experienced how people can change , how mean they can be sometimes and how it feels to watch them change all over !!He , who promised her to stand by her till death, left her just because he started liking a super hot girl who wanted him to be with her..He , who used to call her doll ,actually played with her like a doll and threw her away..He was so weak that soon after finding another option he just decided to leave her..The simple words " Sorry! Now I am not into you " were not enough for that little girl to heal the pain and scars that he left for her..And in the moment , she became a big girl.. She is now alone , sitting in a corner of her bedroom with tears rolling down off her eyes , ached heart and shatterred dreams.. She threw the dolls out of her window that she used to play with , she hates the word Doll now as it reminds her of his voice saying this to her..And finally now she knows not everyone is going to be like her baba whom she can trust.. She can't trust any one in this horrible world and not everyone is worth loving !!

' Supporting Gaza '

"I am a Pakistani and I support Gaza"
Yes, I support Gaza because I don't have any one else who needs my support , I don't have my army busy fighting with those termites eating my country internally , I don't have my people, those IDPs (Internally Displaced Persons) who left their lands for the sake of my country , my people are not killed in daily basis by my own people , my children are not starving till death , my families are not homeless in this blessed month of Ramadan and my people are perfectly fine and on their best..
I will support Gaza and will condemn the Israeli acts because thats what I can do , Clearly I can't stand against TTP and Naa Maaloom Afraad because i am afraid in the morning they can be at my door but certainly I can support Gaza because Israeli's aren't coming for me any time soon..
I can change my Display Pictures in support of R4bia , Burma and Gaza because its trending but eventually I can't stand for my people and start trending for some change ! *pheww* But well , I am a Pakistani and I support Gaza ....